More Progress on Rewrite

After yet another rewrite of the opening of Sunborn, I feel as if I've finally got it. I haven't yet heard from my writing group or my editor, but this version—a hybrid of my original approach and the alternative version I'd attempted on editorial request—feels right to me. We'll see if others agree. (And eventually, we'll see if you the readers agree.)

Progress was impeded somewhat by two rites of getting-on-in-years: a routine colonoscopy (not bad in itself, but the preparation—oy!), and a few days later, a kidney stone. (!!) I've gotten off easy on the kidney stone, so far; it wasn't fun, but neither was it the excruciating pain I remember from a previous incident, years ago. But an X-ray says it's still there, so it ain't over till it's over. If you hear a muffled scream, that could be me with a fist in my mouth. Right now, though, I feel fine. (Another glass of water? Why, thank you—don't mind if I do.)