Why Is Craig Shaw Gardner Writing Dinosaur Porn?

Or is he? I didn't even know dinosaur porn—excuse me, erotica—existed, until Craig told his tale. It seems his innocent fantasy ebook, Temporary Monsters, was temporarily removed from the shelves of the Amazon Kindle store because—apparently—someone at Amazon thought it might be dinosaur erotica. Craig says no. To quote from his blog: "I therefore state, for the record, that my book contains ABSOLUTELY NO HUMAN/DINOSAUR EXTRA-MARITAL INTERACTIONS OF ANY KIND!" Can we trust him? I dunno, he seems to leave in the possibility of human/dino relations within marriage. What does that say?

But as Craig says elsewhere in his blog, go to Amazon and do a search on "dinosaur erotica." Then read some of the reviews of the books that come up. I don't know about the books, but the reviews are hilarious.

Then forget that and give Temporary Monsters a try.

Another Audiobook You Should Listen To

From a Changeling Star, by me. Okay, I guess that sounds like the usual author self-promotion, and on one level, I suppose it is. But I actually just finished listening to it, and I really liked it!

The reason I just listened to it is that I've started going through all my books that come before The Reefs of Time, to refresh my memory of what happened, in hopes of avoiding continuity blunders. Also, in hopes of picking up inspiration from some of the things I cleverly put into the story, but have since forgotten. Fortunately, I can listen to several of them in audio, so I can be working while I walk the dog. Two of them, From a Changeling Star and Down the Stream of Stars, are not formally part of The Chaos Chronicles, but they're about the creation and use of the starstream, which provides the backdrop for Reefs. Plus, the robot Jeaves first appears in those stories.

Listening to someone else read your work can be pretty difficult. Wrong pronunciations, wonky intonations, "character voices" that don't sound right to your inner ear. Things probably only you the author will notice. Sometimes you just flat-out don't like the sound of the narrator's voice for your book. This one isn't entirely free of those problems, but it's way better than some others I've listened to, and on the whole I thought narrator MacLeod Andrews did a fine job. Next for me, Down the Stream of Stars.

The Untangling of Plot Threads

In his latest blog post, Richard Bowker describes how a serene evening beside the fire with the writing group leads to unexpected plot complications. It's all true; I was there. In fact, I might have been the person whose little comment led to the problem. (Oops.)

The same thing happens to me all the time. In my previous post, I showed you what the manuscript of my new first draft looks like. Picture about a third of the way into that stack of pages. That's where an important plot event happens. Will have happened, after I rewrite it. The problem is, I was about three quarters of the way through the book before I realized that little detail. (Oops.) That's going to change a few things, isn't it?

Yah. Sorry 'bout that (I say to myself). Sometimes I think it's a wonder these books ever get finished.

What George R.R. Martin and I Have in Common

We both write long, and we both take a long time to finish. Here I am, pondering the complete first draft of The Reefs of Time. 900-ish pages. Can you see the wheels going in my head, fixing all the things that didn't come out quite right the first time around?

Audiobooks I Liked Last Year

In keeping with my tradition of never getting this stuff up at the same time everyone else is doing it, here's my belated list of books I enjoyed listening to last year—mostly while walking the dog. Jeez, I must spend a lot of my life walking the dog!

• The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins
  I refused to see the movies when it first came out, because I didn't want to watch kids killing kids. By the time the second movie arrived, I'd heard so much about how great the story was that I watched the first on Netflix—and to my surprise, really liked it. So I listened to audiobook and really liked that, too. 
• A Canticle for Leibowitz, by Walter Miller, Jr.
  This is an SF classic that I read decades ago, one of the great post-nuclear-war novels, set mostly in a monastery somewhere in the American Southwest. I gave it a listen on audio, and found it held up very well—perhaps a little long in places, but with more humor than I remembered.  
• The Gunslinger, by Stephen King
  Years ago, I bought a print of the Michael Whelan painting that was the original book cover (I think) for this book. But I'd never read the book until I decided to give it a try via audiobook. Excellent narration, and a story that did not initially grab me, but had me hooked by the end. 
• The Winds of War and War and Remembrance, by Herman Wouk
  I don't know what made me decide to try these very long novels about a Navy family in the lead-up to World War II in the first book, and through the war in the second. Maybe it just seemed like a good deal—a whole lot of hours of listening, for the same price as any other book. Anyway, I was thoroughly engrossed. There were places where it got slow, but overall, I was quite satisfied and moved by the story. 
• Cloud Atlas, by David Mitchell
  This is another book I decided to try after enjoying the movie. In this case, the book is quite different from the film, and much more complex in its plot. I liked both, but in different ways. I want to try more by this author, but haven't decided which to listen to next. 
• The Mote in God's Eye, by Jerry Pournelle and Larry Niven
  Another SF classic, which I'd read years ago on paper. It was a good listen. What surprised me most was how much of it I misremembered. There were scenes I recalled with great clarity from my first reading. The thing is, they either weren't in the book at all, or were very different. Memory is a tricksy critter. 
• The Dog Who Knew Too Much, by Spencer Quinn
  This is a private eye novel narrated by the P.I.'s dog Chet. The story is good. The dog viewpoint on it all is great. The author really knows how to get into the dog's way of seeing things. Very funny. There are more Bernie and Chet mysteries, and I've got them in my wishlist for the future. 
• Failure is Not an Option, by Gene Kranz
  This is for space aficionados only, but if you're a fan of the space program, you'll enjoy the inside look at what the Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo days were like for the mission control teams at NASA. It presumes you already know the excitement and doesn't even try to recapture the thrills. But it does make you feel like you were there, trying to work your way through the life-and-death decisions.  

This one I read as an ebook, but I'm listing it because I really liked it:

• The Red: First Light, by Linda Nagata
  The story of an augmented soldier, this takes us into the world of the near future, where small wars are basically the bread and butter of defense contractors (more so than they are already, I mean). Artificial intelligence has become a necessary adjunct to the working soldier. But exactly where are the AI's leading? Well thought out, and well told, by a Nebula-winning author. The first of a series. 

Some of these I bought, and some I downloaded from the public library. The options for us as readers just keep growing!

Edit: I forgot to mention the Jack Reacher books, by Lee Child, narrated by Dick Hill. I can't remember exactly which ones I listened to last year, but most of them are good. Exceptions: A Wanted Man, which was way below par, and One Shot, the basis for the Jack Reacher movie, which I also found below par. Pick another, any other.

Grab Dover Beach for Free Today

My friend Richard Bowker's excellent future private eye novel Dover Beach is a Nook free ebook today. If you don't already have it, you owe it to yourself to grab a copy right away and read about Walter Sands, book-lover and P.I. in the post-war shambles of Boston. I recently reread it, and enjoyed it just as much as I did when it first came out. It's well worth paying for, but today you can download it for free.

Rich also took the opportunity of this listing on the Barnes and Noble site to give my own Chaos Chronicles omnibus a shout-out, so I'm sitting here rubbing my hands together, waiting for the gold to spill into my lap. Thanks, pal; I won't forget you when I'm rich and famous.

Interesting Times? Holy Sh%$.

Bank robbers were shot by police today about 150 feet from where I'm sitting in our dining room.  My daughter Julia and I heard bang bang bang bang, and thought it was construction or firecrackers. I briefly thought gunshots, and then thought nah. Captain Jack knew it was worth barking about, but he settled down quickly. When I went out twenty minutes later to go to an appointment, police were stringing up crime scene tape, and just getting ready to tape off our driveway. I drove away knowing only that there'd been a shooting.

When I got home, I learned that it was not a domestic incident or random murder, but police responding to armed suspects. The whole place is closed off; I had to park a block away and walk home. The news helicopters are still circling around. Here's the story:

On Arlington Patch, and on Channel 5's website.

Here's what the scene looks like now.

While taking my own pictures, I got interviewed by both Channel 4 and Channel 5 news. They must really have been desperate for something to put on the air. (I doubt very much they'll use it, but you never know.)

I guess I can't complain about life being dull. This stuff is only supposed to happen on TV.

Not So Much, Where We Are

Even though I heard reports of fifteen inches of snow in nearby places, I don't think we got more than eight, or ten at the most, here in Arlington. By the time I got out to walk Captain Jack, my downstairs neighbor had already thoughtfully shoveled the walk, the back deck, and a bit of the driveway. By the time I got back from walking Jack, my next door neighbor had thoughtfully shoveled out the driveway apron! I still had work to do with the snow blower, but a lot less than I expected. Good thing, because even without much wind chill, the six-degree temperature got my hands pretty cold.

Here's the final result in the late afternoon sun.

New Year Snowstorm

They're calling it a big storm, but so far it's been pretty mild where we are. (Not the temperature, though. Cold.) Still, it's supposed to snow right through the night, and be done by noon tomorrow. We'll see what we find then. In the meantime, here's what our house looked like (sort of) a little while ago, when I took Captain Jack out. Hard to get a good picture at night, but I love the blue lights we have in the tree. And the flash does fun things with the flying snow.

Happy Start to the New Revolution!

By which I mean, of course, around the sun. We made it the whole way 'round again! Happy New Year, everyone!

I never did get around to posting Christmas greetings, but I hope the end of December was a good one for you. I was busy with family, including my brother and his wife visiting from Florida. A fine time had by all.

As I think back on 2013, I'm amazed we had time to experience everything that happened. We moved Allysen's mom Fay to our area from Puerto Rico, which was the longest and hardest logistical (and emotional) undertaking I've ever been involved in. (Including the saga of the seven puppies, three of which came north with us and found great homes.) Fay 's pretty well settled in now at her new place. But not without her dog Diego getting  heartworm, and she herself breaking an arm. Fortunately, as I've probably said before, we eat problems for breakfast here. Then, of course, there was Lexi getting hit by a car on her bike, which laid her up for months. But then she got a new job, and that's been exciting. Allysen tried to outdo her by getting rear-ended in our Ford Fusion, because she emergency-stopped to keep an 18-wheeler from killing her. That led to the car being totaled, so we went car shopping last week. And, of course, I finished the first draft of The Reefs of Time, right before Christmas!

That's the Reduced Shakespeare Company rendition of our 2013. How was yours?

Here is the car we've bought and hope to pick up, after the big winter Nor'easter that's bearing down on us as we speak. It's a 2014 Ford Fusion, in a beautiful ruby red finish. We're thinking of calling it Katniss, after the girl of fire, from The Hunger Games.

Maybe later I'll post my thoughts about books and movies from the last year.